


Till Our Wide Eyes Burn Blind

by regionals



Series: The Basement [5]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Anxiety, Daddy Kink, Jealousy, Light Dom/sub, Multi, Polyamory, Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-21
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-09-24 01:25:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17091476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/regionals/pseuds/regionals
Summary: Josh is half stomping around the dining table and through the living room, looking for his keys, so he can leave and not have to sit here with fuckingJenna,who is sitting on the couch, looking all dainty and proper andpretty,just the way Tyler likes his girls, when she pipes up to softly ask, "Why are you so intent on leaving?"Josh whirls around to look at her, and he feels kind of like an asshole when he sees the obvious hurt on her face. He still can't stop himself from blurting out, "I don't like you," though.





	Till Our Wide Eyes Burn Blind

Tyler leaves the apartment to run a few errands, and he's sure to grab Josh's keys as well, much to Josh's displeasure.

Josh is half stomping around the dining table and through the living room, looking for his keys, so he can _leave_ and not have to sit here with fucking _Jenna,_ who is sitting on the couch, looking all dainty and proper and _pretty,_ just the way Tyler likes his girls, when she pipes up to softly ask, "Why are you so intent on leaving?"

Josh whirls around to look at her, and he feels kind of like an asshole when he sees the obvious hurt on her face. He still can't stop himself from blurting out, "I don't like you," though.

"We've hardly spoken," she points out, using one hand to gesture, as the other stays politely folded in her lap. "You met me a month ago, and decided you didn't like me for no reason that I know of. The only reason I can think of for you to _not_ like me is if you're jealous. If you are, then we should talk about it."

"Of _course_ I'm jealous," Josh snaps. "You think it makes me happy to see my boyfriend marching into our home with some pretty fucking _blonde,_ showing her off to me and looking at her the way he's supposed to look at _me?"_

"Tyler's very sweet and all, but we're just friends, Josh. The last thing I want to do is home wreck your relationship. I'm interested in him, and I won't lie about that, but if the two of you can't agree on anything, and if _you_ don't like me, then I absolutely won't pursue it. The last thing I want is for the two of you to break up, and Tyler's said the same thing. He told me that if I'm going to come between the two of you, then he's not going to pursue anything with me either."

Josh hates that he can't find it in himself to be angry at her. He wants to be angry and he really wants to hate her, but after _that,_ he can't.

"Do you have anything you want to say...?" She notices the way his demeanor deflates a little bit.

Josh figures if they're going to _talk,_ then he's going to go for it. He kicks his shoes off, and plops down on the other end of the couch, and sits there glaring at his thumbs and picking at a hangnail until he decides to ask, "Did he tell you that he's...?"

"Trans?"

Josh nods.

"Yes, and I'm fine with it. I haven't, um... I haven't ever dated any trans guys before, but a few of the girls I've been with have been trans, so I'm familiar with the concept." She smiles so sweetly and Josh, again, has a burning desire to hate her. "If you're worried about me being transphobic, then please don't. I'm not _perfect,_ but I do not want to hurt him."

"Okay," is Josh's curt response. He doesn't look at her.

"You know what?" Jenna starts as she turns to face him better. "Why don't we get to know each other a little bit? What's your favorite color?"

"How is that relevant to my personality?"

"Maybe it's not, but I want to know. Mine's yellow."

"... It's pink, but not bright, hot pink. I like soft, pastel pinks."

"You should dye your hair pink."

Josh scoffs. "Okay, _now_ you're making fun of me."

"Sweetie, no, I'm not. C'mon. You'd look awesome with pink hair. It'd match your skin tone really well, I think."

"Don't you think it'd make me look a little _gay...?"_

"And? You've been dating Tyler for seven years now," she points out. "If you want pink hair, and if your job would go for it, then I think you should dye your hair pink."

"Starbucks, uh, has a pretty lax dress code, so I dunno." He shrugs and brings his thumb to his mouth to nibble on it. "Maybe."

*

By the time Tyler gets back to the apartment with a bottled strawberry banana smoothie for Jenna, and a small peppermint mocha for Josh, plus an already half finished energy drink for himself, he's more than happy to find that Josh isn't giving Jenna dirty looks every time she looks away from him, and that he's actually talking to her and not, in fact, being an asshole.

"I see you're getting along with Jenna," Tyler comments later in the evening after he drives Jenna home, and as he and Josh are settling onto the couch to watch a movie together.

"She's not a she-devil like I thought she was," he mumbles. "We had a talk about me being jealous, and got to know each other a little bit, and I've decided that she's pretty alright."

"I am personally very fond of her."

"I know you are." Josh leans on Tyler, and Tyler winds up with an arm around his boyfriend's shoulders.

"I'm also not going to pursue anything with her if you're not okay with it, and especially if you're not involved. She's super sweet, and, man... If we both sat through the whole _Debby_ debacle, I think both of us can stand to get to know her and to give her a chance."

Josh shudders at the mere mention of what they've dubbed as the _Debby Debacle._ "Jenna's at least not gross and transphobic from what I've heard."

"One more thing, man." Tyler nudges Josh away until he's sitting up straight again, and looks into his eyes. "You are absolutely still the love of my life, and I _promise_ that I'm not going to break up with you or let _anyone_ come between us."

Josh scrunches his face up, and squeezes his eyes shut. He gets flustered when Tyler makes declarations of his love.

"Hey, c'mon. What's that look for, cutie?" Tyler reaches up to pat Josh's cheek. "Seven years, and you still get embarrassed when I tell you that I love you?"

Josh lets out a low sort of groaning noise, before nodding and letting his eyes open a little bit. Tyler's smiling at him, nice and soft, and his eyes are twinkling. He winds up letting the rest of his face soften before leaning forward to press a kiss to Tyler's cheek, and to say, "Love you too, Daddy," as he wraps his arms around his boyfriend's torso.

*

Josh feels as if everything between him, Tyler, and Jenna are going great, at least until they get home from an excursion to the grocery store a few months after Josh and Jenna had made amends. Josh is already having a bad anxiety day, and when Tyler hands him a cappuccino flavored drink from the grocery bag, he kisses him on the cheek, and mumbles, "Thank you, Daddy," not realizing that Jenna is only standing a few feet away from them.

Tyler doesn't really react to it, at least not more than he usually does. He pecks Josh on the lips and says, "You're welcome, bud," back to him.

Josh forgets he even said it, at least for the few moments that pass before Jenna asks, "Did you just call him _Daddy?"_

The drink falls out of Josh's hand, and as it hits the floor, rolling in a half circle towards the fridge, his hands fly up to his face to cover it.

Tyler can hear and see that Josh's breathing has gone a little funny, so he pulls his hands out of the grocery bag and steps towards him to wrap his arms around him. Josh leans into his chest and his hands fall from his face, only to wrap around Tyler, before he hides his face in Tyler's chest.

It's Jenna calling him out like that which causes him to snap, and sends him straight into an anxiety attack.

Tyler winds up dropping to his knees as Josh just kneels on the floor, and he lies next to him as Josh sprawls out on his stomach on the floor of the kitchen, cheek pressed against the linoleum, and both hands clasped over his head, using an arm to hide his face.

Tyler runs his fingers up and down Josh's spine, repeating, "Josh, it's okay; no one's mad at you," and variations of it, until Jenna kneels on the floor in front of the top of Josh's head.

Jenna hovers a hand over Josh's hair, and makes eye contact with Tyler, as if to ask permission to touch Josh's hair. Tyler nods quickly, so Jenna lets her fingers run through the hair on the top of Josh's head as she speaks. "Josh, it's fine. I just wasn't expecting it, okay?" She's using a gentle tone with him.

Josh sniffles and _whines_ and admits that he's embarrassed.

Tyler sighs, and shushes him, but doesn't say anything else as he continues rubbing his back, trying to calm him down.

"If--if I'm honest," she starts, looking to Tyler for a moment, before looking back at Josh, "I think it's cute, and--and that you have nothing to be embarrassed about."

*

Tyler talks Josh into taking a shower once he's calmed down, and while he's doing that, Tyler has a _chat_ with Jenna in the kitchen. He's glad to see that, if anything, she looks concerned.

"Hey, uh," he keeps his voice low, "Thanks for not making a huge deal out of the whole 'daddy' thing earlier. Josh is--Josh is really _sensitive--_ in a good way--and he just gets embarrassed easily when people find out, um, intimate details about our relationship, and that on top of anxiety--"

"Tyler, it's fine," she assures him. "I was being serious when I said that I thought it was cute, and if you guys are into the whole DD/LG thing, then I'm not judging--"

"--we aren't." Tyler shudders. "Each to their own, but the whole DD/LG thing is kind of weird to me, mostly because we aren't into it. Sometimes when he's stressed..." Tyler's voice goes up a few octaves, and he waves his hands around as he thinks. "When he gets stressed like that, sometimes it helps him if I, well--it helps if I _dom_ him, if you, um... Get that."

 _"Oh!"_ Realization washes over her face. "Oh. Yeah, no, that's totally cool. I'm not exactly unfamiliar with kink, if I can be honest." She winks, before patting him on the arm, and turning around to walk towards the living room, and Tyler can't help the quiet, wistful little sigh that he lets out as he watches her go.

*

After Josh is out of the shower, Tyler doesn't waste much time entering the bathroom to take a shower himself while the water is still hot, which leaves Josh standing next to the couch, eyes and body feeling heavy, staring at Jenna.

She looks back at him, and Josh feels like her eyes could cut him in half if she wanted them to, just because they're so blue. "Are you alright...?" Her eyebrows are drawn together. "Do you need anything?"

"Tyler usually holds me after I have anxiety attacks," he mumbles, barely audible, before reaching up to scrub at one of his eyes. Both of them are still irritated and itchy. He's carrying a blanket over his shoulder as well.

“If you’d be comfortable with it, I’m totally down to hold you, at least until he’s out of the shower.”

“Are you sure…? I’m… heavy.”

“It’s fine, Josh.” She flicks her fingers, motioning him towards her. “Come here.”

He listens to her.

He’s sure she’s just being nice to him because he’s Tyler’s boyfriend, but he can’t deny the fact that her long, tanned fingers feel good in his hair, and he can’t deny that she’s warm and that she feels safe almost in the way that Tyler does to him.

*

Josh spends a few weeks going about his life, feeling as if he’s caught in the calm before the storm, or some other overused cliche that he can’t be bothered to think of. He feels like it’s going to happen—like Jenna’s going to get _weirded out_ by his relationship with Tyler, or that something’s going to snap and that she’s going to leave their lives and that it’s going to be all his fault.

That doesn’t happen, though.

She sends him a message on Facebook to ask him if he’s free on a Friday afternoon, and once he gets his work schedule for the month, he confirms that, yes, he is indeed free on that specific Friday afternoon.

She invites him over to her apartment.

Her apartment isn’t anything special. Josh had some idea in his head that she lived in a fancy penthouse, or something like that, but when he shows up at her apartment to see that it’s a tiny studio with cacti lining the windows and knitting projects scattered about, he’s a little caught off guard. “Um… your place is nice.”

“I think small and lonely is a better way to put it,” she jokes. “Thank you, though.”

Josh smiles softly, and finds himself gravitating towards the window. “I like your cacti.”

Jenna steps up behind him, and Josh tenses up a little bit when he feels her arms wrapping around one of his. (He’s beefy, and she’s pretty petite in comparison to him.) Her face is squished into his arm and Josh realizes she’s hugging his arm. He feels his heart beat start to pick up. “I baby those cacti like they’re my children. I’ve even named a few of them.”

“Which ones?”

She unwraps her right arm from around Josh’s, and points to one that’s in a ceramic pot painted yellow with acrylic paint. “I named that one Shelby. It just… gives me some big Shelby energy, y’know?”

“What about that one?” He points to one in a ceramic pot that’s painted pink and purple.

“Butch. That cactus is totally a Butch.”

Josh can’t help but to smile at that. “Any others?”

“Just one.” She points to a third one that has a few sunflowers painted onto the pot. “I named that one Joel.”

“Joel?”

“Yeah. It kind of just struck me as a Joel. I need to name the rest, but there haven’t been any names that have stuck out to me.”

“So… Shelby, Butch, and Joel?” Josh looks down at her and he can definitely see why Tyler likes her when she looks back up at him with a gentle smile on her face.

“Yep. It’s not weird, is it?” She doesn’t look like she would care even if he did think it was weird.

“I think it’s kind of cute.”

*

Josh has been at Jenna’s apartment for about an hour when he notices that she’s acting as if she wants to ask him something, so he says, “Are you alright? You’re acting like you wanna say something.”

She picks at the bed of her thumbnails, and Josh almost laughs, because it reminds him of Tyler, since he does the same thing.

He reaches for her hand, though, and says, “Stop that, before you hurt yourself or get an infection or something.”

“Is it too much if I tell you that you’re, like… Kind of super sweet…?” Her voice is quiet and she seems a little nervous.

Josh looks up to make eye contact with her, and he feels like it’s a scene out of some sort of romantic comedy. His brain starts playing some corny, early 2000’s love song, and, _oh;_ he realizes he has a _crush._ “Uh… No. No, that’s definitely not too much. Did you—did you want to say something to me, though?”

She rubs the bed of her thumbnail instead of picking at it. “I was kind of wondering if you’d maybe let me dye your hair…? I should’ve said something when I messaged you, but you were being kind of… Stubborn, I guess, when I brought it up a few months ago, and I was serious—you would be super cute with pink hair. I, ah, kind of wanted to dye mine too…? We could have matching hair.”

She looks so hopeful and nervous and excited and _cute and pretty_ and Josh doesn’t hesitate before saying, “Yeah, absolutely, Jenna. I’d love that.”

*

Josh feels kind of like a cat with how he leans into Jenna’s touch as she’s working hair bleach into his hair. He feels even more like a cat when she says, “If you were a cat, you’d totally be purring right now.”

He doesn’t open his eyes to look at her, but he’s pretty sure she’s smiling. “I like having my hair touched. When I first got together with Tyler, he started running his fingers through my hair whenever I was upset or otherwise emotionally unwell, and it’s become something that I find soothing.”

“Every person I’ve let touch my hair like that has ended up yanking on it and hurting me,” she mumbles. “It’s like… It’s supposed to be romantic, or comforting in your case, yet whenever someone touches my hair, I’m basically just repeating, _‘Please don’t pull it,’_ over and over to myself. Also, um, sorry if I talk too much. Some people don’t like how much I talk.”

“Drop those people.” Josh scoffs. “If you want to talk, then talk. I mean… I talk a ton, and I overshare when I’m comfortable with someone, so by all means, Jenna— _please_ talk. You’re not talking too much at all.”

As she’s fitting a plastic hair cap over Josh’s hair, she changes the subject. “How did you and Tyler, like… get together?”

Josh opens his eyes now, and stands up, because it’s his turn to bleach her hair. (Whereas he has to leave the bleach on his hair for forty minutes, since his hair is dark that it’s almost black, she only needs to leave it on for fifteen just to get it light enough for dye to stick to it.)

She sits in the chair that’s in the bathroom, and as Josh is wrapping a towel around her shoulders to protect her shirt from any stray drops of hair bleach, he answers her. “Uh… It wasn’t really too complicated. We were friends for, like, six months before we officially became boyfriends. Before we became boyfriends, we were already… Kind of romantic, I guess…? I mean, I met him, then a few weeks later we went out on a date. It wasn’t a _date_ date, but it was still, like… Intended to be romantic, I guess. We’ve been together for… Eight years, now?” Josh uses a hair clip to clip the towel together. "Our anniversary is in a few weeks."

“What was your first date with him like?”

“Not that romantic in hindsight.” He’s putting on a pair of gloves, with the intentions of using his fingers to work bleach into her hair. “When we met, he was struggling with an eating disorder, and, I mean, he still does struggle with it a bit, but for awhile our dates were basically an excuse for me to feed him, because he wouldn’t eat, and I figured fast food was better than no food.” Josh smiles a little bit. He likes talking about his first dates with Tyler. It makes him feel nostalgic. “Our first _real_ date was on the Valentine’s day after we met. I took him to an Olive Garden, then kissed him goodnight on his doorstep.”

She _aww_ s at him. “That’s adorable. How did you meet him?”

“His older brother used to be my weed dealer.”

That makes her burst out laughing, and Josh cracks a half smile at her laughter. “You smoke?”

“Not that much anymore. When I was a teenager, I, ah, had a lot of anxiety problems, like, more than I do now, and I also used to get migraines real bad, so I smoked to alleviate it.”

“That’s fair. I like to indulge in it myself sometimes.” She has a smug sort of smirk on her face, and Josh feels his heart skip a beat. “I didn’t know Tyler had a brother.”

“He has three blood related siblings, and my old weed dealer was, like, his adoptive brother, I guess. Um. I don’t—I don’t feel comfortable explaining his life story, because it’s not my story to tell, _but_ _…_ yeah. He lived with my old weed dealer until he turned eighteen, which is about when we moved in together.”

“Ah.” She nods. “He did mention that his mom kicked him out when he was like… Super young.”

“Yeah. His mom is a fucking bitch, if I can be real with you.”

Jenna snorts, and tilts her head as Josh reaches for a strand of her hair. “So I’ve heard. What about your parents?”

“Well…” Josh clicks his tongue. “My parents found out I was bisexual, and flipped a gasket, and then my baby sister told them that Tyler’s trans, and they kicked me out, _so,_ needless to say—they’re assholes. They'd probably have a cow if they knew that, on top of me being bi, I’m also, like, _super_ poly.”

“Before my mom passed, she was always super sweet about me being queer. Admittedly, she was also a massive hippie, so she was already super chill, but she was super supportive about my orientations and gender and whatnot.”

“Gender?” Josh raises an eyebrow and makes eye contact with her in the mirror of her bathroom.

“Did Tyler not tell you?” She looks a little confused.

“No…? I mean—if you’re trans, it’s obviously cool with me, considering who I’ve been in a relationship with for the past eight years.”

“I am.” She smiles a little awkwardly. “Sorry. Um. I thought he would’ve told you, because, I mean… You guys seem awful close.”

“He’s religious about not outing people as trans, even if it’s only to me. Don’t be sorry. Um. I can stop calling you ‘dude’ and ‘man’ if you want. I mean, I’ll probably stop anyways, but…” He shrugs.

“I’d appreciate that.”

“Sick.” He offers her a reassuring look through the mirror.

“If, ah… If anything ever happens between me, you, and Tyler—um… I haven’t—I haven’t had any _surgeries_ _—_ _”_

“Oh, Jenna, it’s cool. Don’t worry about it.” Josh waves a hand. “You don’t owe me any information about your transition or gender. I mean—if you want to tell me, then go ahead; I don’t mind, but don’t feel obligated to. I’m cis, but, um—I know that stuff is super personal and intimate.”

“God, you’re so fucking _nice._ No wonder Tyler loves you so much.”

Josh absolutely does not blush. (That’s a lie. He totally does.)

“I appreciate you saying that, Josh. It’s just—I just want you to know that… Although I’m doing HRT, I don’t—I don’t really want to get any surgeries…? _Maybe_ top surgery if I can ever afford it, but those surgeries are super invasive and painful and it’s just not something I want to do…?”

“Again, it’s cool, Jenna. Tyler’s kind of the same way. I mean, I don’t care what he does with his body, because I love everything about him, but he’s said before that it’s painful and expensive and that he’s alright with his body anyways, and, I mean—I’m more than alright with his body. Point is… Same for you. Whatever choices you make when it comes to you and your transition—that’s, like… That’s cool, and I absolutely respect that and it’s not my place to question it or to try and pressure you into something or to pass judgment on you or whatever. Sorry if I’m sounding like a tool.”

“You don’t sound like a tool.” She waves her own hand a little bit.

At this point, Josh is done putting bleach on her hair, and he takes a few hair clips when they’re being handed to him so he can clip her hair up and stretch another hair cap over it.

“A lot of cis guys get kind of weirded out when they’re faced with a girl who has a dick. Or, well, that’s been my experience.”

“To quote you when I asked about Tyler awhile back—I’m familiar with the concept of dating a trans person.” Josh takes her hands and helps her stand up, even if she doesn’t need his help. “Very familiar, in fact.”

They’re face to face—chest to chest—and Josh feels like it’s another scene out of a movie. Jenna basically has stars in her eyes and she looks like she’s about to cry and Josh can’t help himself when his head dips down to kiss her.

*

The first thing out of Josh’s mouth when he gets home that evening is, “I made out with Jenna.”

Tyler doesn’t give a shit. He hears him, of course, but he’s scrambling up from the couch, a shocked look on his face, and he’s walking up to Josh so he can put his fingers in his boyfriend’s hair. “What did you do your hair?”

“Dyed it pink. Tyler, I made out with Jenna.”

“Dude, I don’t give a shit if you made out with her. It makes two of us.” He rolls his eyes. “What— _why_ did you dye it? I mean—I love it—but… Holy shit.”

“Jenna wanted to have matching hair,” he mumbles. “You seriously don’t care?”

“No? You didn’t care when I made out with her. Why would I care when you did?”

“It’s just…” Josh scrunches his face up. “Look, man—I _really_ like her. She’s—she’s so sweet and nice and—and making out with her was awesome. Also—why didn’t you tell me that she’s trans?”

“It’s none of your business unless she tells you herself. And she told you. _So._ ” He shrugs. He looks excited.

“Right, right.” Josh huffs a bit. “I  _officially_  have a crush on Jenna, and I’m _so_ sorry about being an asshole to her.”

**Author's Note:**

> this is the most self indulgent thing ive written in. so long.


End file.
